NEW YORK (TheStreet) -- When troubles arise at the office, it's a pretty good bet someone in management will want to know "what went wrong." While blaming others can make you look bad, taking too much responsibility for a problem can make you look weak. The reality is that failures at work are bound to happen. Our experts weigh in on how to handle them without looking like a tattletale or a pushover.
"You don't want to be the fall guy, but don't want to be a snitch," says Robert Hosking, executive director at staffing firm OfficeTeam. "If you're the manager of a group project that failed, you need to be ready to own up to it and step up to the plate to resolve the issue."
Almost one third -- 30% -- of senior managers said they have accepted the blame at work for something they didn't do, according to an OfficeTeam survey. Out of those, 34% said they took the fall because they felt "indirectly responsible" for the problem, while 28% said they "just didn't want to get others in trouble."
"You can't look like you're trying to deflect," Hosking says. "With that said, if there are 10 people on a project, it wasn't your entire fault -- in most cases it's not cut and dried as to who's most responsible." When a problem needs answers, Ben Dattner, organizational psychologist and author of The Blame Game: How the Hidden Rules of Credit and Blame Determine Our Success or Failure, says it's best to be honest about what went wrong without directly saying "It was her fault," or "It was his fault." If your supervisor continually demands names of responsible parties, Dattner says it's important to answer questions honestly without intentionally throwing your colleagues under the bus. "It's about your intention," Dattner says. "If your boss asks you to describe a series of events, you have to tell the truth. If your colleague didn't get you a report on time and you needed that report to do your job, then you have to simply say, 'No, he didn't send it.'" If you're unsure of the difference between conveying facts and conveying blame, Dattner says to imagine that your co-workers are all listening in as you describe what happened to your supervisor. Also see: Not Every Office Lets Fans Fly Their Team Colors>>
"Imagine all of your colleagues are in the room with you as you answer these questions," he says. "Don't betray them, but do give an honest account of what happened. Keep stressing to your supervisor the big picture of what went wrong and how you're going prevent it from happening again."
Keep in mind that if a manager wants to know who is responsible, they may not be seeking confrontation -- many times they just want to have a dialogue with whoever made the mistake to ensure the problem doesn't happen again, Dattner says.
"What enlightened managers do is overcome the tendency to rush to judgment and take a mindful, deliberate process to figure out what's going on," he says. "Sometimes they're not looking for someone to blame; it's really more of a good faith effort to figure out what went wrong and how we can fix it moving forward."
Unfortunately, many employees are too quick to place blame on others because they're scared, says Joseph Grenny, co-author of the national best-seller Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High. "When a mistake is made we all go back to when we were 4 years old and we screwed up in kindergarten -- we feel threatened that we're about the be shamed, but this isn't about shame, it's about results," Grenny says. "Forget about who is bad -- shine the light on how we get better results next time." When you're speaking to your supervisor about what went wrong, Grenny says to try something disarming that will help your boss feel more secure that the team can get back on track easily. It may be the best course of action to say something like, "Wow. This didn't work, and it's not acceptable. We're going to make changes next time that ensure we can achieve our mission." Also see: How to Keep the Work Party From Getting Too Crazy>> "That sends the message to your boss that you believe this is about results -- not shame," Grenny says. Even if you're tempted to blame someone to resolve a situation, Grenny says the fallout can potentially be damaging to your career and create unnecessary hardships with co-workers.
"The real threat is that the people you blame and others you work with can really lose trust in you, so then you have to recover both from the original problem and the damaged trust," Grenny says. "Now it's a question of 'Can I trust your competence, and can I trust your motives?'"
Don't be fooled by a "quick fix" of blaming others, Dattner stresses, even if it seems appealing at the moment.
"It's tempting in the short term, but problematic in the long term," he says. "If you are constantly taking credit for the good things and none of the bad, you will never be able to adequately assess room for improvement, and employees are not going to trust you or want to work with you."
In most cases, the best option for employees and managers is to accept blame and take steps to ensure the problem never arises again, says Joe Utecht, crisis response manager with Ceridian LifeWorks. "Managers need to share responsibility for mistakes," Utecht says. "As a manager you want to people to accept responsibility, grow and learn from mistakes. When you concentrate on behavioral change rather than making a situation personal, you are on the road to creating a great workplace environment. You want your employees to feel good about themselves, feel encouraged and feel empowered so they can help your company improve and succeed and move forward."
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